Because You Want Me (Falling for You, Book One) Page 5

  Her heels tapped on the floor as she walked to my desk. She pulled her blazer down efficiently and crossed her arms in front of her. “Just to recap, you asked me to cancel the round of prospective partners I'd found to fit your father's decree.” She spat out the word. There was no love lost between my father and Caitlyn. They'd only met once at a benefit dinner a couple of years ago.

  My father had long been a figurehead of sorts at Wade Enterprises, but even figureheads need to make an appearance from time to time. When he walked to the microphone, cane clicking in time with his shoes, and essentially took credit for the company's gains, she'd refused to shake his hand when he walked off the stage to raucous applause. When he'd asked me to fire her and I refused, he'd railed on about it for weeks before my mother finally interceded and stroked his ego. Caitlyn just continued to do her job, stating that her work would speak louder than any amount of ass kissing.

  She stood looking at me with a mixture of worry and skepticism and repeated herself. “You’re not looking for a girlfriend anymore.”

  I dipped my head in acknowledgment. “That's correct. I've made other arrangements.” I cringed, hating how business-like that sounded. Penny wasn't an arrangement. This thing we were doing was business, but she was something more...and the slight smile on Caitlyn's face told me that she knew that. “She's actually the reason I'm clearing out my day.” I adjusted my tie, trying to pretend that this conversation was no different from any other. “Her name is Penny. She's a teacher. And she's...” I left the rest unfinished, but my mind filled in the blanks. Beautiful—I took a mental picture of her last night with the wind whipping her locks across her face. The way I fell into her eyes and it felt so effortless being with her. Sexy—in the most primal, breathless way. Our bodies called to each other. And I wasn't too proud to admit that no sex rule or not, I was looking forward to finding out just how firm that rule was. Kind—I'd avoided all family functions I had no interest in since I hit eighteen. My mother still tugged at my heart strings and while I hated the way she put my father first at her own detriment, I made sure my schedule was bare bones on her birthday. My sister and my father fell to the wayside. I had no interest in pretending or opening myself up for disappointment. Yet that's what Penny did. She put herself and her needs second, sacrificing her happiness to appease her sister and parents. There was a kindness that radiated from her. A gentleness that they took for granted.

  “She's headed to the office,” I finished. “I want to make her feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible.”

  “Say no more,” Caitlyn had her marching orders and sprung into action. “I'll take care of the meetings and get some refreshments sent up to...?”

  “My office,” I answered, a little more eagerly than I intended.

  “Of course,” she answered smoothly, headed toward the exit. “Just buzz me if you need anything else.”

  I thanked her and waited until the door clicked closed before I swiveled to the floor to ceiling window, the San Francisco skyline humming with life and energy and promise. The excitement that stirred inside me was something I usually saved for new acquisitions or profit statements with more zeroes tacked on the end than expected. This was different.

  I couldn't sit still. I wanted to do a lap around the room. Should I get flowers? She’d had a hard day.

  Just as long as you remember that this is temporary. Friendship is fine, caring for her is safe, and sleeping with her has become your only fantasy. But once you turn down the other road, with roses and promises and butterflies in your gut, there's no going back.

  Business mode was the only thing that could pull me back. I rose to my feet, my environment making the transition a smooth one. Corner office on the 26th floor, walls filled with framed articles about the companies I saved and turned into powerhouses when everyone else was ready to liquidate. No family photos, no knick knacks that reminded me of home and comfort. This office was a monument to hard work and tenacity. I could have easily had the conference room set up for us, but I wanted her to see me in my element. A capable, powerful man that took care of the things that he was passionate about. And she was on that list, and deserved to be taken care of.

  The culinary staff downstairs brought up a spread fit for royalty, a board filled with all kinds of exotic cheeses and fresh fruit and hearty meat. Wine and water rounded out the table, two porcelain plates and wine glasses waiting to be used.

  I spent my minutes looking through my paperwork and forcing myself to not check the phone. She'd been in a rush to get off after all, I doubted she'd be texting to shoot the shit, and these moments gave me the opportunity to temper my enthusiasm. I couldn't stop smiling, achingly excited for a chance to see her again—but I reminded myself she was coming because she was in crisis and hurting.

  What was it about this woman that spoke to me so profoundly? I wanted to do more than just heal her past hurts, I wanted to help her see how beautiful she was. How my world was brighter with her in it.

  Two knocks sounded at the door, a familiar tap followed by Caitlyn's voice it creaked open and she walked in.

  “I have a Miss Penny Robertson to see you, Mr. Wade.”

  She stepped aside and my heart thundered in my chest. Penny's eyes hesitantly met mine, the hazel globes slightly swollen from crying. She did this awkward bow thing and from the full on smile that spread across Caitlyn's face, I knew she was charmed.

  “I'll be in my office if you need anything.” Caitlyn hustled from the room, and I had to order my limbs to take it easy and not sprint to Penny, scooping her in my arms.

  Penny smoothed the front of her pants with a nervous chuckle and my head dashed through the gutter, wondering what lie beneath before I shushed the lust and tried to relax the nerves that had her shrinking before my very eyes.

  I rounded my desk, wanting to be close to her, but decided to give her space and let her gain her footing first. I perched on the edge of my desk, gesturing at the food. “I remember you saying something about only having one shrimp?”

  “Oh god,” she winced, covering her face with her hands. “It was a complete nightmare and it's just beginning. They're going to eat us alive at the wedding. They're going to poke a hole into every story and picture. And then I'm not just going to be pathetic. I'm going to be a money hungry liar on top of it.”

  I felt the frayed rope that she'd been clutching, the control that was slipping through her fingers. “It's going to be okay-”

  “Oh, it's gonna be a lot of things. Painful. Embarrassing. And if you're serious about the twenty thousand, very expensive. Okay's not really on the docket.” She turned to the table and plucked a handful of grapes, stuffing them in her mouth. She chewed them slowly, fingering the white linen tablecloth. When she finished, she leveled with me. “Sorry, I kind of do this non stop bullet, word vomit thing when I'm nervous.”

  A quiet smile teased my lips. “You're nervous?”

  “I think you know the effect you have on women, Xander.”

  “I don't care about the effect I have on women, Penny. I care about the effect I have on you.”

  Her lips were parted and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly. Not ravage her, that would come later. I wanted to feel her lips against my lips. I wanted to taste her with my tongue. I wanted to feel her open for me like a flower reaching toward the sun.

  She snapped her mouth shut, turning away from me like she'd just been caught doing something she shouldn't have. We were both caught it seemed. Me, the guy who frequented sex clubs and bars to get his rocks off; her, the kind of woman that avoided those kinds of places. Two people who made an arrangement, shook on it, put a price tag on it, yet were rewriting the terms every second we were together.

  She sniffed and edged her way around me, being careful to stay out of arms reach. She went to the window. The sun turned her hair caramel.

  “This is insane, you know.”

  “Insane?” I dismissed that, shaking my head slowly. I waited until she dropp
ed her hands and let me see her. Really see her, past the beauty and the mask of indifference; the bun she'd pulled to the top of her head and the disarming smile. “I know this thing we're doing together is-”

  “Awkward?” she offered.

  “To say the least. But I don't think you're insane. I think you're brave...and way too nice.”

  She walked right past the compliment, her gold fleck eyes catching fire. “Too nice?”

  Usually my words never failed me, but with her, things weren't coming out right. “I didn't mean it as an insult. It's an observation.”

  “And you must see a lot way up here on the 26th floor,” she said vehemently. Sadness was no longer rippling through her gaze. She looked ready to tear me to pieces. “We haven't even known each other for twenty four hours and you think you've got me all figured out?”

  Anger rose inside me, ready to match hers, but I gripped the edge of my desk, glancing at the folders stacked around me. “This I have figured out. How to strategize and make money. Money I'm good at. Earning it, spending it.” I gritted my teeth. And giving it away. I thought I was being generous, but maybe I insulted her? “Is this about the money?”

  “No,” she said tersely. She angrily swatted a renegade brown strand from her eyes. “I mean, maybe? But I...” She didn’t finish.

  I had a feeling she was going to say she needed it. I didn't feel I had the right to ask why and the why was irrelevant. But I knew the money was a symbol; control, an invisible line in the sand. It protected us both.

  I decided to throw up the white flag, pushing off the desk and moving toward her. Her eyes narrowed warily, but when I roped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward me, she arched into me, her swan like neck craning as she tilted her chin upward. It had been years since I'd done the relationship thing, but I remembered that it was easier to surrender and say the dreaded two words than go for blood.

  “I'm sorry.” I said it with my voice then repeated it with my lips. She brushed hers against mine, a smile brightening her face.

  “Me too. I'm not mad at you. Hell, I owe you a thank you for squeezing in a sit down with your fake girlfriend.”

  She said it as a joke but I saw past the wink and nudge with her shoulder. 'Fake' and 'not real' were words she'd uttered before. And for all intents and purposes, she was right. Whatever this was that we were doing, it had edges and textures that I was still figuring out myself. I went back to the money, because that's where I felt safe. That's where I felt comfortable. But with her in my arms, I couldn't feel my feet touch the floor. How was it possible that I wasn't counting down the days until the weekend, when I could get off and get back to business? The only thing I cared about was making Penny smile.

  I was losing my mind. My head told me to run, as far and as fast as I could. There was only one way this could end, and it was disastrously.

  I ignored it, a crazy idea taking root. “Have you ever been on a helicopter?”

  “What?” Her face twisted in confusion. “I mean, um, no?” She bit her bottom lip to hide her smile but it just made her shine brighter as she took a cautious step forward. “Why do you ask?”

  I reached for my phone, punching Caitlyn's number. “Because we're going on a field trip.”

  Chapter Seven: Penny

  Do not sleep with Xander Wade.

  I'd been repeating that sentence in my head from the minute he held out his hand and led me to the elevators that shot us to the roof. He never let my hand go, even squeezing it as we shared a view of Golden Gate Bridge that I'd only seen in movies. It was almost as alluring as the sight of our hands locked together so effortlessly that I almost believed it was real. The nearness of him mixed with the adrenaline of being thousands of feet above the rest of the world and it made me want to be reckless. Something like...ease our hands up my thigh and decide that maybe I'd behaved too rashly when I'd made the proclamation that if we were doing this, it would be a business arrangement, with no sex.

  But I wanted him.

  I needed him.

  And it was driving me utterly insane.

  It didn't help that he kept stroking my skin-slow, tender circles that made me want to kiss him. Despite the rumbling of the jets and my ongoing battle to keep my legs closed, every jolt that rocked through me made me wish I'd worn a skirt.

  When I saw the familiar hills of the Tri-Valley, I panicked for a moment, thinking that in his over the top manner, he was taking me back to my apartment, but the copter set down in Livermore. When a woman dressed in all black with dollar signs glittering in her eyes rushed over, welcoming us to Brentwood Winery, I had to repeat the words again.

  Do not sleep with Xander Wade.

  Do...

  Ugh.

  This was like some fantastic, surreal dream and people do really dumb things in their dreams. Helicopter rides to wineries, his hand caressing mine the entire journey with no intention of letting up—I could see me wavering. I felt it every time I pretended I didn't notice him watching me. I had no idea what he saw, or why he was going to all this trouble when he was already paying me, but I didn't have the guts to ask. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to risk doing anything that would wake me from this dream.

  “You okay?”

  His voice shook me from my stupor and I looked down, my heart lurching when I saw our fingers were still interlaced.

  I snatched my hand away, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. “I, um, sorry.” I expected him to do the same. Nerves had me sweating like I was standing in front of my class for the first time, wondering how I could instill confidence and self worth in my students when I was still working on that myself. He didn't make a face and follow suit, instead, holding out a hand as he angled toward the entrance of the restaurant.

  I hadn't hesitated when he reached for me before, willingly letting him pull me even deeper into dangerous territory, a place where reality and fantasy bled into each other.

  “Let me get my bearings,” I said with a forced huff of annoyance, turning my back to him. I squeezed my eyes shut and sucked air into my lungs and blew it out before I opened them and made use of the moment to catch my breath.

  Our bubbly guide cleared her throat and I frowned, but my smile was back in place when I turned. The winery was beautiful, from the wood beams to the rustic barrels and string lights that lined the way toward a set of French doors.

  I glanced down at my wrist, surprised that the place wasn't bustling with energy for the early dinner crowd, people scrambling for wine and food after a long day at the office. “Are we early?”

  She paused, pirouetting back to face me. Her name, Margery, was etched in cursive on a bronze name tag. “Early?”

  “The place just seems-” Just in case it was a sore subject, I chose my words carefully. “A little slow.”

  Her crystal eyes flicked over to Xander, then back to me. “Mr. Wade booked the entire property for the rest of the evening.”

  My stomach dropped. “He did what?!”

  Xander turned his charm on Margery. “I think we've got it from here. Everything's set up for us on the patio?”

  “Yes sir,” Margery chirped. “And if you need anything else-”

  “Absolutely.” He dismissed her with a grin and tried to turn it on me, but I crossed my arms.

  I waited until she was out of earshot. “You reserved a winery for us?”

  His smile wavered. “Yes. Is it too much?”

  I glanced around us, all the candles burning suddenly making me sweat in a significantly unsexy way. I didn't need a mirror to know that the little makeup I'd thrown on this morning had melted off my face, my braid hung limp, the whole right side of my hair giving up altogether, and just spilling down my back. My white blouse was wrinkled, the cotton stuck to my sticky skin. The only thing that looked appropriate for this expensive last minute date were my pants.

  Going to his office was already like some alien world, being here just reminded me of how we lived in different worlds.

&nb
sp; “Yes,” I said finally, unbraiding the rest of my hair. I twisted it into a bun, wrapping a hair tie around the mess. “It's too much.” When his jaw tightened, I was the one that reached for his hand, wanting to explain myself. “Don't get me wrong, it's pretty much the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” My words got stuck in my throat. I told him I was overwhelmed, that I wanted to escape, and he hadn't batted an eye before he scooped me up on his white horse and saved the day. “You're pretty much the best f-”

  His finger pressed against my lips. Who knew that being shushed could be so hot? Every part of my body snapped to life, my eyes lost in his as he inched closer to me, his finger teasing downward until it rested on my bottom lip.

  “I have some new rules to add to the list. No more fake boyfriend/girlfriend talk. Or how this isn't real.” He brought his other hand to my face, holding me steady with his touch and his gaze. “You're mine, and I'm yours.”

  I drew my hands up, resting my palms against his chest. If I was smart, I'd push him backwards and tell him to take me back to the city. Instead, I gripped the front of his shirt and yanked him forward. I locked my arms around his waist, my face nuzzled against him. I uttered a word of surrender. “Okay.”

  I didn't let myself think about what I'd lose when the month was up or how I would reconcile taking a check from him when this arrangement ended. I just let him hold me. I savored the care I felt when he reared back slightly and tucked my hair behind my ears and sealed my fate with a kiss.

  He guided me toward the French doors, a table a few inches from the ground topped with wine, glasses, and an assortment of fruit and cheeses that looked similar to the spread we'd left untouched back in his office. The patio looked out on the property, rows of oak trees stretching out before us, nestled among the golden hills.