Because You Want Me (Falling for You, Book One) Read online

  I finally took a breath. A deep one that filled my lungs and calmed my shaky nerves. I squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them, I fully expected to be alone. Who wouldn't flee? He didn't even know my name and I'd just given him my unsolicited life story. He came here with one goal in mind, and it wasn't to listen to me complain about my childhood, ex and family woes.

  I opened them and slowly, painstakingly tilted my head in his direction. The tilt wasn't sufficient when I realized he was actually still beside me. It was like someone had plucked me out of the real world and dropped me into a movie. He was the lead with the face that launched a thousand sighs, every female audience member memorizing every line, every angle, all the shades of brown in his hair and the spectrum of green in his eyes. And somehow I was in the frame too, sitting beside a man that looked at me like I wasn't completely ridiculous. He actually looked intrigued.

  I hadn't scared him away.

  It was the sweetest and most terrifying thing. I knew what was wrong with me...what was wrong with him?

  He pulled out his wallet and thumbed through a jarringly thick wad of cash. Either he was wealthy, or there was a strip club looming in his crystal ball. I pretended that I didn't notice him leave a startling amount of money as a tip, and waited for him to extricate himself from our awkward encounter.

  “How about you and I get a real drink?”

  I was too shocked to pick my jaw off the floor. “You want to get a drink with me? You don't even know my na-”

  “I'm Xander.” He said smoothly.

  I could have guessed that was his name. Something exciting and a little edgy. He held out his hand.

  This could all be some elaborate ruse to get in my pants. And even if it was, why wasn't I more bothered by it?

  I shook his hand while I still had the nerve. “Penny.” I did a quick sweep of my body with my free one, like that explained everything.

  “It’s a beautiful name.” He cracked a grin that made me weak in the knees, his thumb stroking my skin. It sent a longing through me that confirmed my new worst fear—I was already addicted to his touch.

  I decided I'd stay on the ride for a little while longer, slipping off the stool with a grace that surprised me. “I'd love to have a drink.”

  Chapter Four: Xander

  I knew a handful of bars in the area that would have made a drink that scratched the itch we both so clearly needed scratched. I passed by each one, telling myself it was because they also offered a side of history that we did not need. Bartenders that would plunk our drinks down on coasters with smiles a little too obvious. Smiles that said, ‘What number did this one grab?’ and ‘Poor girl—she better leave the stars in the sky because next week, he'll have someone new beside him, twirling her straw in her drink’. Or worst, that she'd look at me with those golden flecked eyes, asking me what was good when she really wanted to know how many girls sat in her seat, asking the exact same question.

  Those thoughts were enough to make me awkwardly pause, tempted to just plow through the door. But I wasn't the kind of man that did awkward. Or plowed through anything. Or cared what thoughts or judgments that fluttered around in the bartender’s heads.

  But I cared what Penny thought.

  And not just of me. I cared what she thought, period. Usually the only words I cared about from women I desired were yes and how soon they could get to whatever suite I'd arranged for the night. Yet every word Penny had uttered seemed to draw me closer. It was an unraveling of sorts, the ribbon unfurling into the darkness, the bottom unseen. The loss of control, the out of character need to see where this led, to get to know her, was unsettling. Yet, it was compelling in a way that kept me moving. That kept me glancing over at her, loving the flashes of her taut jaw and the curve of her sexy ass.

  That was the balancing act. I'd think up something sweet, like the way she growled, ‘no thank you’ when I offered her my jacket, even though I saw the way she shivered in her cropped leather one. Then, I'd drop my gaze to familiar territory, like the way the jacket accentuated every delicious line of her body. It was a subconscious reminder that my goal, to fuck, hadn't changed just because I liked the way she smiled and refused to let her guard down with me. But I'd yet to do the same. My guard was still up and in full effect.

  I hovered in front of Eddy's, the wind's gusts lifting my collar. I glanced in through the glass, the fingers at my side tingling as I did quick math in in my head. I've frequented this bar at least ten times, which means I picked up how many women if I’m being conservative?

  “You're cold, I'm finally ready to admit that I'm cold, and this place seems like it’s right up our alley. I'm like two seconds away from ditching you and waving from the bar that looks so warm and inviting. And warm.” Her teeth chattered behind me and when I peered over my shoulder, I saw her arms wrapped tight around her body, her cheeks flushed red. The urge to kiss her was the first thing that hit me, the temperature quickly fading. There was no sign of hesitation when I turned to her, stepping close as her eyes widened. She'd gestured at herself when she told me her name, almost like she was explaining that's why she was the way she was. Average. Forgettable.

  She couldn't be more wrong.

  Before I could stop myself or overanalyze what had come over me, my hands cradled her cheeks, a heat with two ignition sources flickering to life inside me. On one hand, I wanted her. There was a gentleness about her that brought out a need to ravage her; to strip her down with more than just my gaze. Her skin was cool to the touch. From the way her lips quivered and she didn't yank from me, fleeing for the safety and warmth of Eddy's, I knew she was waiting for me to make my move.

  The second place was something different. It noticed things I didn't notice before. Like the gold that weaved its way through her honey brown hair. The bits of green that sparked in her eyes as she scanned my face. The gentleness was hidden by skepticism now. If I was smart, I'd say something charming and pull her inside. The night had taken a turn since I saw her, and now that we were here, I saw no benefit in playing my usual game.

  I leaned in, her delicate, floral scent cocooning me. I felt safe and reckless. I wanted to devour her—and I wanted to just stand on the sidewalk with my lips hovering above hers.

  She took the leap for us. She lifted on her toes and I discovered that she tasted even better than I imagined. The only taste I'd been concerned with came from a place lower, between her thighs—but that was static. I tightened my hold and she let out a moan that echoed in my throat. My tongue dashed into her mouth, and she danced with me, filling all my senses until nothing existed outside of our kiss.

  The lust dove back to the forefront when she pressed her body into mine, taking my bottom lip between her teeth and tugging. I wanted to say fuck the drink. I was already drunk off her, bound to make all sorts of romantic missteps I'd regret in the morning. I wanted more than the feel of her flesh wrapped around my flesh. I wanted to trace every inch of her with my fingers. I wanted to hear her story.

  I froze, a thought bringing everything to a standstill.

  I needed a girlfriend—and there was already these stirrings inside me...

  Instead of reading more into it than you need to, just run with it.

  Her eyes held so many questions and I decided to answer the easiest one: what's next?

  I took another kiss, inhaling her deep before I released her with a smile. “Let's grab a drink.”

  Eddy's held all the charm of a proper San Francisco watering hole. Wood furnishings that dueled with the industrial beams and exposed metal bones of the building. Eco meets tech. Neutral colors surrounded us, gray and black chairs and tables filling the blank space. An ebony bar stretched the length of the room, scattered with women and men buzzing around them like flies.

  I steered Penny toward the end of the bar. Two unoccupied stools were in the line of sight of a pink haired bartender, but offered us a degree of privacy.

  My proposition could either be met with interest—or disgust. If
this weird night was going to come crashing down, I wanted as few people as possible to witness the nosedive.

  We settled in our seats, rubbing our hands together and letting the warmth in as the chatter rose around us. The change of venue was a good thing. The music at the club was meant to encourage less talking and more movement: dancing, grinding. I was a fan of both but here, I got to see the woman beneath the smoke.

  And she was beautiful. Not in an overt, in your face kind of way that I usually went for. The makeup she wore actually did more hiding than accentuating. I wanted to wash all of it away so I could see all the layers of green and brown and gold in her hazel eyes. The delicate nostrils that flared as she pretended she was taking in the room and not watching me watch her told me that she was stubborn. Feisty. And those lips—the gloss was all but gone and I could make out the contours of her mouth. A mouth made for kissing.

  She made a face at me before she turned away, trying to get the bartender's attention. “My mother always said it was impolite to stare.”

  “She should know better than anyone how impossible it is to not stare at you. You're beautiful, Penny.”

  The look she gave me was so incredulous that it made my fingers twitch into a fist, ready to take on whatever demons had convinced her to take compliments with a grain of salt. Before I could tell her that it wasn't a line, the bartender breezed toward us, her double nose rings gleaming as brightly as her smile.

  “What can I get for you two?”

  She ordered a vodka tonic with lime and I seconded her order.

  “No bourbon?” she asked, eyebrow lifted in surprise.

  “Not tonight,” I winked.

  Any light in her eyes dimmed a couple of notches. “You're trouble, aren't you, Xander?”

  I knew what she wanted to hear. She wanted me to lie and say that she was safe with me. For the first time in years, I wanted the words to be true. The best thing I could do for her was to be honest.

  “It sounds like we both have a bit of family drama,” I began, dredging up my own sordid situation. “I'm at the head of the family business, but my father's primed to give the reins to my sister.” I relaxed in my seat, mentally sinking onto the psychiatrist's couch, ready to spill all the skeleton's in my closet. What was it about her that made me feel safe? Like she cared? Was it the way she listened so intently? Or the quiet solidarity in her eyes, a kindred look of someone used to being disappointed by their family?

  I decided to dial it back and give her what she needed to know. “My dad is sick and decided to add something special for me in his will. If I don't get and keep a girlfriend for a month, I'm ousted.”

  Our drinks arrived just in time. The bartender asked about a tab but I just handed her a couple of twenties, telling her to keep the change.

  Penny took a long gulp of hers before she placed her hand over mine. “I'm sorry about your dad.”

  She meant it, squeezing my fingers tight and sending warm pangs through my chest. I cleared my throat as I used the other hand to white knuckle my drink. “He's lived a full life.”

  “Sounds like he wants to make sure you live a certain life, whether you want to or not,” she mused, staring into her drink.

  Her words meant more to me than I let on. “I'm used to making sacrifices and hard decisions,” I said gruffly. When she gave me a sidelong glance, I lightened my voice and added a nonchalant shrug. “Occupational hazard.”

  “Yeah,” she said slowly, peering at me with a studied patience that reminded me of a teacher having the umpteenth conversation with a difficult student. “But this is more than just a job.” She used her straw as a pointer, making a large rectangle in the air. “I'm guessing you work in one of the skyscrapers downtown and you've been proving yourself since you got your MBA. You dress well and throw money around like confetti because you want people to know that you're successful. The one man that you want to notice hasn't though. In fact, he's kind of crapping all over your work by saying your contribution means so little that he'll take it away if you don't change your Facebook status.” She paused, dropping her gaze as her cheeks bloomed with embarrassment. “Sorry, I get chatty and inappropriate when I'm nervous.”

  “No need to apologize,” I murmured, trying to downplay just how awed I was that she hit the nail on the head. “Sounds like you know something about not being noticed.”

  “I'm a special ed teacher and I've fought to make real changes in my district for my kids,” she explained. “I'm even taking the show on the road to be a thorn in the side of several districts in the state when I get back from vacation. My parents don't even ask about my job because my first mistake was not going into law or medicine. The only question they care about is if I'm dating someone and if so, does he do something respectable?” She angrily chugged the rest of her drink. She pushed the empty glass away and tugged her hair over one shoulder, ringing the brown strands.

  “You know, I do something respectable for a living.”

  She stopped twisting. “What?”

  “I need a girlfriend, and you need a boyfriend. Temporarily,” I added quickly. I was usually on point when it came to selling ideas. I could make even the most unappealing concept, like I'm going to fix your company and lay off thousands, sound like roses because the profits or vision I had for the company trumped the collateral damage. My words stumbled with Penny. It didn't help that she was gaping at me like I'd just asked her to hike up her skirt and mount me.

  “You want to pretend we're dating? So you go to my sister's wedding, and I pretend I'm your girlfriend for your dad and you stay CEO?”

  “That's right.” There was another piece. It could be my ace in the hole—or bring this whole conversation to a screeching halt because she slapped me across the face. “I'll pay you.”

  The words were already out and if her eyebrows jumped any higher they'd fly off her face. Just like that, I’d blown it. She was about to flip me off and get the hell out of dodge.

  “How much?”

  The anxiety immediately transformed into relief and I almost kissed her until I saw that whatever warmth she'd been feeling was hiding behind something brassy. I could see the barbed wire going up before my eyes.

  I didn't let on, casually sipping my drink. “Twenty thousand for one month.”

  “Twenty thousand dollars?” she gasped.

  “That's right,” I nodded. “We're dating, so I go to your event, you go to some family stuff with me over the next month, and the money's yours.”

  Her mouth couldn't decide whether she was in shock or ecstatic, battling between an O of disbelief and an uneasy smile. She abandoned both when I slid closer, leaning in to tell her how much I appreciated this. How I was actually dreading this process, but with her...I was excited.

  She pulled away, zipping her jacket to the very top. “Just so we're clear, I'm not an escort.”

  “Of course-”

  “I'll do this, pretend that we're dating for the money on one condition.” Her eyes froze solid. “We don't sleep together.”

  The kiss, all the things I wanted to do to her—it all dangled on some tenuous string. “This isn't about sex, Penny. I mean, obviously I want you-”

  “And I want you.” It should have been a tender moment, but she delivered the words with a hint of despair. “Which is why the only way this works and is less complicated is if we keep it strictly professional.”

  My head knew she was right. My cock protested vehemently. My heart? It didn't get a vote.

  I felt a knot in my throat, but I held fast to all the years I'd put in at Wade Enterprises. I would not shift the company to my sister's inept hands. This was too important. And Penny was perfect: beautiful, real, hell, she was even a teacher, and you couldn't fake the chemistry we had.

  Chemistry that will never be more than that. Heated looks, kisses that go nowhere...

  I held out my hand, ignoring the part of me that ached for what could of been. It was the selfish part that wished I'd waited to ask her aft
er I'd had her, hoping that would cure me of the sparks that lit up my insides when she smiled.

  “You've got a deal.”

  Chapter Five: Penny

  I couldn't hide in the bathroom forever.

  It wasn't for a lack of comfort. The ladies' room at The Farmhouse Restaurant was nicer than my studio apartment back in Hayward. Granite countertops stretched around the smudge free vanity. A TV perched on the wall broadcast some Lifetime movie. I'd been in the bathroom long enough to get the gist, and even a psycho husband plotting his wife's demise in a spectacularly implausible fashion was preferable to grinning and bearing it through the bridal luncheon from hell.

  Lara had been stuck to me like glue since I walked through the door, telling everyone about Mr. tall, dark, and handsome, thankfully leaving out the part about the sex club (though I believed she left that out because she’d have to admit she was there too).

  I was still catching my breath after last night. Every question jerked me back to those moments.