The Billionaire's Caress Read online

  She saddled me with a look. “Don’t get all defensive, Lay. I’m not accusing you of anything or saying you’re about to run off with the lead singer from About Us.” She took a breath and moved closer, her voice a little softer. “I do remember that day. It’s how I knew we’d be best friends. It was the first time I said that Jason was a bastard out loud.”

  Both of us hit the jackpot with our ex’s in the crushing disappointment department. Her ex? He had a problem keeping his dick in his pants. And somehow, he found a way to blame Megan for his infidelity. She was just too perfect. He didn’t deserve her...so he sabotaged it by sleeping with other women.

  Mine? He was destined for greatness...and great men don’t do commitment.

  Megan’s green eyes glazed over, lost in the memories. Locked in to her very own uncomfortable walk down Memory Lane.

  She jerked her hand to her mouth, like she was screeching to a stop on said lane, her eyes widening as she finally put all the pieces together.

  “Wait...the guy up on stage is the dude?! The first guy you ever-”

  She raised her crimson eyebrows and made a circle with her thumb and pointer finger then-

  “Megan!” I hissed, swatting her hands and glancing around us, like there was a neon sign above our heads, detailing the whole affair.

  Under normal circumstances, she probably would have rolled her eyes and reminded me that it was 2017 and having sex with someone was no longer something to be discussed in hushed tones, but we were surrounded by people dressed in everything from headdresses to band tees, screaming and squealing and swaying. We’d driven right past ‘normal’ when I realized that my ex was some sort of rock star...and just announced to the whole world that we were acquainted.

  “But he just...” she trailed off, not bothering with miming just how screwed I was. A single finger slashing across her throat wasn’t necessary.

  Girl’s night was over.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Home.

  The very word used to be enough to make me sigh with relief. Home was literally where my heart was. Where Hope was waiting for me. Where my husband was. The place where I could peel off my bra and say and do whatever I wanted with no fear that some paparazzo would snap an unflattering picture, or I’d say something that would make its way into the tabloids. Everywhere else, I had to be on. The publicist who was never off the clock, could never show weakness without risking losing the respect of her clients and colleagues. The minute I pulled into the parking lot or walked through the revolving doors at our building, I could just be me. And that was enough. More than enough.

  Tonight, I moved like I was in no hurry at all. Counting out each step because there was no keeping pace with the heart that thundered in my chest. I’d rather count each grain of sand that seemed to be coursing through my veins, anchoring my feet to the ground. I missed several rotations of the revolving door, drawing the eye of a child who stared at me, head cocked to the side as she cycled through. She even offered to help me, to hold it so I could hop in, but I just smiled at her and got on with it.

  I nodded at the security guard at the desk, a new employee who jerked to his feet like I was a VIP and he was moments away from being reprimanded.

  “M-Mrs. Whitmore-“

  “Have a great day!” My voice came out like a squeaky mess that made us both cringe. He lowered himself back in his chair, probably making a mental note that he should avoid the crazy Whitmore lady.

  I made a beeline for the elevator, grateful that I didn’t have any company. I swiped the keycard to get to the top floors, then took my time typing in the access code for ours.

  I pulled off my ballcap and ruffled my curls. Jacob always said he loved my hair wild and if the reflection in the chrome was any indication, I fit that to a T. It suddenly made sense to me that Jacob waited until he was sure I was asleep. I found myself hoping for the same thing, that Hope wore him out and they’d both be out cold. It would give me a little longer to come up with a way to gently break the news that my ex boyfriend, whom I never mentioned because I hoped I’d never have to think about him again, was in town.

  Naturally, the elevator made it to our apartment in record time.

  The chime that I used to love because it announced that Jacob was home earned a glare from me as I tiptoed from the elevator. No kid friendly tunes wafted down the hall to meet me. Hope’s squeals were nowhere to be heard. The TV wasn’t at a discreet volume because Hope was taking a nap.

  I still had my fingers crossed as I rounded the corner...and saw the two loves of my life curled up on the couch.

  Everything else in the whole world went still. There were no planes in the sky, no cars below, zipping along on the streets beneath our feet. There were no people milling about, texting, living, loving. The only thing that existed, that mattered to me, was right in this room. Jacob, wrapped in a white t-shirt and cotton pants. Hope, in a white t-shirt of her own, with cartoon characters playing out a scene not unlike the one in the book that was perched on the ottoman in front of them.

  I moved closer, my feet whispering on the floor. Whispers swirling around my mind, about how I wish I had my camera, how lucky I was, how perfect they both looked. Even that went quiet when I lingered beside the couch. Breathed the moment in. Jacob’s perfect face, reflected in Hope’s. The rise and fall of their chests.

  Maybe you should stop tempting fate and use a few more minutes to get yourself together.

  Hating that I wasn’t still tangled up in them, in savoring this piece of heaven, I took a tiny step backward.

  The hardwood floor sighed and I held my breath, hoping I wouldn’t wake them.

  Who are you kidding? You don’t want to wake him. Not until you have a game plan re: the Corbin thing.

  I waited a full five seconds before I turned on my heels, saying a silent prayer to that effect. Please don’t let him stir, wake Hope, lift his eyes to meet mine, and give me a look that reminded me that waking my husband from his nap was the least of my worries.

  Somebody important must have been listening because I made it all the way to the stairs without either of them making a peep, other than Hope’s snores. I still didn’t understand how the cutest, loudest sounds could come from such a tiny thing.

  It was smooth sailing up the floating staircase, pausing just long enough to pick up a pacifier. I dropped the knick knack on the nightstand and peeled off my badge with a scoff, quickly covering it up with my clothing. I wished it was that easy to erase the events of the evening. To go back and convince Megan that we just stay in. Go back to the moment Corbin’s eyes found me in the crowd and said my name. This time, instead of gawking at him like a deer in headlights, I’d give him the one thing I didn’t have the guts to do the last time we saw each other: my middle finger.

  I took the parade of regrets to the bathroom, rolling my neck as I avoided the mirror. Anything reflective. It would just remind me that I was smack dab in the middle of a conundrum. Jacob and I were arguing because I accused him of cheating on me...and I just ran away from a concert because my ex was opening the show.

  Just tell him, rang in my head, but it wasn’t like I could just say, ‘So, the lead singer from About Us? He’s my ex’ and we’d just leave it at that. If Jacob came to me with that story, that would be the beginning, even now. He’d quickly follow my admission with a string of other questions.

  Did you know he was coming to town?

  When was the last time you two were together?

  What happened?

  And all those wouldn’t compare to the question he didn’t ask aloud, the question that would burn in his deep blue eyes.

  He’s not just an ex, is he?

  I stepped in the shower and pulled the glass door shut behind me, like I was closing the rest of the world outside. Pressing the pause button long enough to take a shower and get my head on right. Memories, then and now, just pounded me like the water pounded my flesh. Wave after wave of pictures of me, young and naive. Young, naive and-

  “In love?” I said aloud. Drenched in all the incredulity I could put in the two words. I didn’t even know what that word meant back then. I was just beginning, just exploring the world. Some hot, muscled, tattooed guy swooping in like Superman to save the day? I didn’t stand a chance.

  But this? Where I was, physically and emotionally, even with all the drama and distance with Jacob? This was real. This was love.

  Corbin was just a youthful indiscretion. A pothole on the road to something meaningful.

  I stepped beneath the spray of water, the suds from the shampoo washing away my day. Washing away my worries.

  I knew what to say and the more energy I put behind this thing, the more power I gave it. He was an ex, nothing more. All the rest of it was irrelevant.

  He was irrelevant.

  If that’s true, why can’t you get rid of the ache in the pit of your stomach? Why do you feel like you’re the one that’s keeping secrets?

  I gripped the knob, ready to unload this weight before it brought both of us down. Spit out my fears and flex my fists. I’d let them get their rest and think about dinner. Sometime between the first course and dessert, I’d just share that I ran into someone I used to know. No biggie. No need to be alarmed. No need to give Corbin Wolfe or the past any hold or power over me.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  I blinked through the water, Jacob standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but golden skin and an expression filled with remorse.

  My body was alive with his presence, pores tingling like flowers being stroked by the sun. Arousal radiating from between my thighs, pebbling my nipples as Jacob moved closer.

  I almost forgot about everything. The argument. Corbin.

  Almost.

  I scrubbed a ha
nd over my face and pulled the sides of my mouth as far as they would go. I wanted to talk and get this over with. I could almost hear my mother’s voice in the back of my mind, a fount of wisdom, usually when I was in no mood for it.

  Ask and ye shall receive.

  “C’mon in,” I said with a wiggle of my brow. Hoping that I’d still be in a playful mood once the water stopped. “The water’s fine.”

  IF YOU WOULD HAVE ASKED me a few hours ago, me, Jacob, and nakedness would have been just what the doctor ordered. Not to mention, the two of us being naked and wet was a strategic move on my part. It was impossible to be angry when we were rocking our birthday suits.

  Impossible to do anything but make the most of our nude state.

  Unfortunately, even the sight of my naked-as-the-day-is-very-long husband wasn’t enough to make my dive headfirst into what needed to be done. I shuffled to the side, crossing my hands across my chest before I dropped them because I looked ridiculous.

  “So, u-uh, where’s Hope?”

  He strode into the shower like a soldier marching into battle. His mission? To slay me with his...

  I glanced down and saw that his body wasn’t the only thing that was rock hard. When my eyes shot back up, I expected to see some hint of mischief in the blue. Instead, I found the unaffected look of a seasoned poker player. The look of someone that was just doing what came natural.

  And this was natural. It wasn’t our first time showering together. The first time we’d been all slick and wet and hard in this chamber of marble and chrome. But I couldn’t help but awkwardly pass him a loofah, like we were two strangers who happened to accidentally schedule a shower at the same time.

  It was the fight.

  It was Corbin.

  I wished I was capable of just sticking that all on the back burner and diving back into the delicious naughtiness that was Jacob, but I was all thumbs. I needed him to tell me it was all gonna be okay before I dropped another bomb.

  He nodded at the countertop, one of the monitors perched within eyesight. I wiped a hand across the glass and saw Hope was snuggled up in her crib.

  When he stepped in the shower, panic gripped my chest and I found myself wishing that it wouldn’t stick. That she’d lift her honey brown head and let out a wail and a string of baby babble to alert us that nap time was over...and I wouldn’t have to look into her daddy’s eyes, eyes that told me he was ready to talk and put all this behind us—right before I shared that I ran into Corbin.

  I stepped to the side, even though there was plenty of room for the both of us, and several other people. Mentally, I felt like we weren’t alone anyway. There was Megan, trying to play devil’s advocate after we left the concert. If he doesn’t mean anything to you now, maybe you don’t have to technically share that you saw him. Even if I was a big fan of pretending like the last two hours never happened, how could I swallow the hypocrisy? Our whole argument before all of this was rooted in my belief that I wasn’t getting the whole story from Jacob. There was no way that I could abracadabra Corbin Wolfe away. I wouldn’t.

  My mother’s voice scratched around in my head too, another vote for minimizing. She was far from impartial, since she was the one that had to deal with sullen, heartbroken Leila. That summer before I went to college was probably the longest summer of her life—first, she had to put up with this alpha dude who spent every waking hour at our house, then a month of me trying to put myself back together when he swooped out of my life as quickly as he swooped in.

  She told me to forget about Corbin. That there was nothing to tell, because he was the asshole that walked away.

  The asshole who didn’t even know my name.

  “Let me.”

  If Jacob’s voice wasn’t enough to pull me out of my head, his fingertips skating across my arms, palms resting on my shoulders washed away all else. Every doubt.

  He was here.

  I was here.

  That was what separated everything that came before from everything I was blessed with now.

  I breathed in the steam, the smell of cloves and cinnamon and vanilla. The silky smooth fibers that brushed my skin as Jacob caressed me with the loofah. His fingers traced his descent, down my spine. Over the curve of my ass before the loofah was forgotten altogether and he gripped my hips with both hands.

  Jacob had gripped me more times than I could remember. In passion. Trembling, like he was struggling to hold it together. With love, like he just wanted to commit the feel of me to memory.

  Now, it was different. He held me like he wanted to remind me that he wasn’t going anywhere. Like he wanted to remind me that I was his, and he was mine...period.

  I brought my hands to cover his, my heart one ‘I love you’ from flying right out of my chest.

  He roped an arm around me, pulling me to him. Letting me feel the hardness of his body. The sincerity in his voice.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I just-”

  I whirled around to face him, throwing my arms around his neck. Pulled his mouth to mine. Let our lips say the words that our heart screamed.

  I’m sorry.

  I screwed up.

  I love you.

  I’m not going anywhere.

  I was the first to pull away, the last phrase hot on my tongue. Radiating in my heart.

  If we could survive all the curveballs fate threw our way, we’d survive a blast from my past. And the longer I kept my lips shut, the more I fed this non-issue. I really had no other choice: I could tell him about Corbin and explain that he was my past and Jacob and Hope were my future...or I could wait until something popped up online and pretend like it slipped my mind.

  But I was done pretending.

  Pretending was what I was doing before. Pretending that the late nights and barely seeing each other and the business trips didn’t bother me. That the stretch marks didn’t bother me. That I wasn’t tired all the time, that I was some sort of superwoman who didn’t need anything or anyone and could juggle it all on my own.

  But I needed Jacob.

  Needed him in a way that told me that there would be, could be no one else.

  Telling him about Corbin would be painful...then we’d figure it out and take the world on, together.

  I took a step back, the water spilling over my shoulders as I gazed into the blue abyss.

  “I’m sorry too,” I began. I’d say it a million times, as many times as I needed to. I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips. Kissed his knuckles. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jacob. That’s all that matters, the only thing I should have clung to.”

  I cringed inwardly at my choice of words, expecting to watch as he rebuilt the wall between us with my own two eyes. Admitting I chose door number one over door number two, chose to believe the worst instead of trusting our love could be enough to shatter this delicate truce.

  Instead, he just nuzzled my hand, water speckling his golden skin. Misting his flesh as he gave me a sly smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve been thinking of all sorts of creative ways to punish you.”

  That made my core dance with excitement. Maybe he could bend me over the bench. Pin me against the wall and tease me with his fingers. With his mouth. Make me beg for the part of him that had already let bygones be bygones.

  I kept a level head and reined in my submissive. My hunger. I narrowed my gaze on his face.

  “Hold that thought. I have something to tell you.” I barely paused long enough to segue into a confession of my own. “So, you know the concert...”

  “Mmhm,” Jacob nodded, missing the whole me not trying to get distracted thing. He reached for my breasts, massaging the mounds. Flicking the nipples with his thumb. Sending pleasure coursing over my body to dull the pangs of guilt. Of apprehension. “I wasn’t expecting you for another couple of hours. Sucky band?”

  Sucky lead singer, I thought glumly. But even that wasn’t true. Corbin had always been talented and the years had only honed his honey rich voice. Given him a stage presence that even a salty ex couldn’t ignore.

  “Actually, um...” My explanation got caught in my throat and I swept my hand over my wet locks, flicking my fingertips through the curly ends. “The band was pretty good. And I know the lead singer.”

  “Oh?” Jacob mused, more concerned with the curvature of my breasts than the words coming out of my mouth.